Chapter 24 |Honesty Is The Key|
Cars seem to drive past us in a fast rate. In my mind though, everything moved slow. Why did Ron come today opening the book of reality. I just stared out the window caught in a daze. The sound of little Zay singing a tune in the background caused me to look at my stomach to an unborn child that has yet to live.
The road diverted to a rocky road. The radio went off as Marcus fuss at Zay. “Be quiet.” he said frustrated.
My finger thumbed the engagement ring as my attention finally fell to Marcus words.
“You haven‘t said a word to me since this morning. What in the hell is wrong with you baby girl?” he asked as my eyes glanced his way.
His hand stroked a piece of hair away from my face as he focused his attention back on the road.
“Nothing.” I simply said. I had nothing to say until my thoughts are solid. I feel like an emotional wreck at this time.
Upon arrival at the house, I slipped on the engagement ring and the other ring in my left hand. As soon as he parked, my hand reached for the door handle for me to get out. Walking towards the door of the home, my hands rummage in my purse grabbing a set of keys out while the other ring slipped down in my purse somewhere. After retrieving the key, I opened the door heading straight to the bedroom, dropping my purse on the bed and into the bathroom where I began disrobing myself from the clothing full of memory. My bare body felt coolness surrounding me until I turned on the hot shower that instantly fogged the large mirror. Once the temperature was right, I grabbed my face towel and step in the shower, closing the glass encased door behind. The water touched my body like little fingers massaging my most private areas. Grabbing the bar of soap, I lather it in a towel then smearing the soft Olay fragrance over the delicacies of my body. I scrubbed my body until I felt my skin become irritated. After the soap washed off my body, my back touched the wall as I slid down the wall onto the shower floor thinking and rationalizing each main highlight of my life.
The water shooting from the shower head ran cold. My hand reached the lever to turn the shower off. Getting up, I opened the enclosed doors to see my towel hanging from the towel rack. Grabbing it, the long towel wiped away the pebbles of water from my body. The towel draped over my petite frame as I entered into the bedroom discovering a pair of panties and a big t-shirt. Slipping the towel off and the clothing on, the bed called out to me. It is hard sleeping in a cold sick filled environment with so many interruptions throughout the night. Laying across the plush covering, I balled up like a little baby looking at the window. My ears twitched hearing the door opening but I didn’t bother to look around.
Small feet trailed in until they came around for me to discover who it is. Zay. So sweet looking and innocent. His big eyes stared into mines with so much curiosity.
“Why you in bed momma? The sun outside.” he said pointing to add emphasis.
“I know baby, I‘m just sleepy.” I assured him as he stepped closer, grabbing my head to pull me down and kiss my cheek.
“Love you momma. Go sleep now.” he said running towards the door shouting…
“Daddy…momma sleepy.” he said as I chuckled to myself.
Once more my ears twitch to the presence of someone cracking the door wider.
“Clare?” Marcus voice rumbled in my ear. “You sleep?” he asked. I just look around to show him I was still up. My finger twirled my engagement ring as I felt the bed drop a little crawling over to me. His strong muscular arms wrapped around my waist, pulling me close to him. His breath hit against the back of my neck as words enter my ear.
“Tell me the issue.” he whispered in my ear while rubbing my stomach.
“What is there to talk about?” I asked.
His hand stroked down my arm touching my hand and raised it up for him to glance at it to see the once missing engagement ring back upon my hand.
“We can start off with how did you get this ring?” he asked admiring it closely.
I snatched my hand down, balling my fist up and shoving my hand under the pillow.
“Somebody returned it to me.” I simply said.
“Who?” he asked raising up onto his elbows.
“Ron.” I replied feeling him motion to sit up.
“Ron? What the hell he was doing in your room? When did he come? This morning?” he asked a million questions in one.
“Yes, he came back by to apologize and gave me back my ring.” I said not really wanting to go any further. I just want to sleep off my misery. I just want to get away from the drama all over again.
No words…The silence only pressured me even more to bring this Moe issue up, although I wanted to leave it alone. I couldn’t though. I need to know.
“So what is the deal with Moe, Marcus?” I finally asked hoping for a truthful statement.
“Why does shit always fall back with me and her?” he asked in defense.
“Because if the bitch is trying to kill my baby…No wait our baby to just get me out of the picture, then there is a damn good explanation I need to hear, don‘t you think?” I said raising up on my elbows. I never spoke in this tone before to him, so I could only imagine his facial expression since my eyes were focused on the wall.
I heard him let go of a deep sigh as I continued to wait.
“Your right…” he said.
“Right about what Marcus? You and her having a relationship you‘ve been trying to hide?” I asked straight forward.
Silence.
“Why is she so crazy over you Marcus?” I asked trying to get him to talk.
“Because, I took her ass in when Corey was in jail for sometime when I was younger.” he said stopping.
“Did ya‘ll fuck around Marcus?” I asked digging deeper.
“Clare are you fucking serious. We went down this road too many times and I‘ve always gave you the answer. Something is mentally wrong with her obviously.” he said trying to go around my question.
“Marcus, answer my damn question.” I said sitting up in the bed.
He slid off the bed.
“Will you get off my back if I told you yea?” he asked sarcastically.
“I want the truth. I want to know why she paid Ron to rape me dammit.” I said as tears flood down my cheeks as my heart began racing with anger of wanting to kill her.
He walked over to me and got down on his knees settling in between my legs.
“Baby…I‘m telling you for the final time, I never messed around with her on that level or any level. What I did was provided a home for her, showed her what a man‘s responsibility was, as well as helped her go through school. Never have a made a sexual connection with her. I am selective with everything and you know that. She might have taken it the wrong way, but I know what I did. When Corey was in jail, all she had was me. I played many roles in her life, but never have I known she would be this jealous. Never baby…I promise you on everything.” he said so sincere as he pulled me into his arms.
His sincerity only made me cry even more for ever doubting him. Its just so hard to find someone to trust. God please tell me if he is being honest with me. Send me a sign or something. I don’t want to walk around in blind love not knowing who has it out for me.