Stories written with unexpected anticipaton.
Message [Page 4 of 4]
Re: Cancelled Wed Jul 22, 2009 10:34 pm
Re: Cancelled Wed Jul 22, 2009 10:38 pm
Re: Cancelled Thu Jul 23, 2009 10:42 pm Re: Cancelled Fri Jul 24, 2009 8:49 pm
Re: Cancelled Sat Jul 25, 2009 11:07 am
Re: Cancelled Sat Jul 25, 2009 5:05 pmVava wrote:Honestly, I feel lost. In the beginning I didn't know where they were && I was confused. There were a few parts missing. A lack of details. I felt like those paragraphs that you wrote were as if some one was talking. You ever see someone talk on and on and they have no point to their conversations? That's how I felt reading this. I think things were moving fast paste. It's good that you're writing in Novel form but could you please space out your work.
For example if someone new is talking start a new stanza:
"I love you." Kianna said to me.
"But, I don't love you . I mean I love you. But, I don't love you the way I love Lana." I told her.
Does that make any since now?
I love the banner && the title. The plot could be better. It needs a bit fixing up.
Please don't get mad at me. I'm just giving you some consrurctive criticisim. Helping you to get better.
-VAVA
Re: Cancelled Fri Jul 31, 2009 1:29 pm Re: Cancelled Fri Jul 31, 2009 1:32 pmL I S A wrote:I's is writing!!!!!!
It shall be here soon....maybe fifteen mins, maybe thirty, maybe an hour. BUT today FOR SURE.
Re: Cancelled Fri Jul 31, 2009 1:42 pm Re: Cancelled Fri Jul 31, 2009 4:06 pm
Re: Cancelled Sat Aug 01, 2009 10:09 pm Message [Page 4 of 4]
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