Friday, October 9, 2007
Chapter Twenty: Spiralling Out of Control
Torrence "Rock" Bryant
One Week Later11:36 pm
"What the fuck was you thinking!?" I roared as I pressed the botton to unlock my car doors.
"I needed some money" Adrien spat careless to the fact he had just attempted to rob a corner store, he was stopped by the security. Lucky for him LRA owned the lil spot, unaknowing to him.
"Money for what?! What the fuck you got to buy that I dont give you my damn self?!" he pulled his hood off and stood infront of me.
"Im addicted to crack" he said, the cold smoke-like air illuminating from his heaving breathing "It's my family. It was mom when she wasn't there, it was dad when he wasnt there...it was you when you weren't there!" he said as he backed away from me.
"I can get you help, but if you aint tryna get help why the fuck am I dealing with you?"
"You think I havn't tried that? Huh? You think I like being this? Looking this way? Brutha's aint lookin for a sickly lookin mutha fucka..." I tuned out, I wasnt tryna hear about him and his lil orgies. "...I couldnt do it, and I cant do it now so just give me the money and it wont be no problem!" he said charging me. My reflexies gripped his jacket and slammed him against the car next to mine, cracking the backseat window slightly.
"You tough shit now?" I growled. I realsed his jacket, letting his feet come to the ground, I wasn't gonna let him bring the monster out of me. "Get in the car, your making a scene."
***
"Pack your shit" I said tossing my key's on the coffee table
"What?"
"You heard me, get ya shit, get the fuck out! You wanna step to me, you can step out"
"And go where huh? This how you do family?"
"Family a grown ass man now, if he wanna get his shit together that's up to him, not me"
"You dont get it. I have a sickness, this aint no over night shit! Look at me! You think this shit" he pulled up his sleeves, showing his bruised arms, "happened over night?"
"If you so sick why the fuck you aint doin shit bout it? Cant nobody stop this but you. Im not about to force you to get help, Im not about to watch you kill yourself in my house either. You take ya ass out there and self descruct, I got enough pain"
"Pain?" Adrien laughed, "what you know bout pain? When Nanna died all I had was you! And when you left, I aint have shit but two fucked up ass parents who would sell me for a fix in a minute! You know when you left, moms & pops got fucked up? Real bad, and I stood their and watched. You've never waitnessed your mother being raped, or your father being beat like a dog. I did! I was standing there in pissy ass night pants, crying for help that never came! You never had to watch your dad beat the shit out of your mother over dumb shit! I did! You know you gotta lil sister down there? Ya, mama was a good hoe, wasn't a safe one though, got knocked up by some white guy, daddy beat her down every day. But nah, you were here, stress free. So dont fuckin talk to me about pain" he said brushing against me. He opened the door and slammed it behind him.
***
I stepped out of the shower as I dried my face and the rest of my body off. I dressed myself in black and blue Nike basketball shorts, socks and an all black beater. I was ready to crash. I had alot of shit on mind, and Adrien's remakrs replayed in my head like crazy. Suddenly, knocks came to the door. It was 12:47 in the morning, it was either Adrien, or some mutha fucka had a death wish. Suspiciously, I peeped out of my bedroom window, from the 6th floor, I couldnt see shit anyway. I grabbed my gun that laid under my pillow as I eased through the living room and den. Peeking through the peep hole, Khiry stood on the other side. I let the gun fall in the black vase next to the door.
"Khiry?" I answered. Her body attached to mines as her arms wrapped around my neck. She was in tears. "Baby girl what's wrong?" I asked her. She shook her head.
"I shouldn't be here" she said as she tried to pull away. I pulled her closer.
"Just tell me what's wrong" I said as I wiped her tears.
I closed the door behind her, locking it as well. She turned to me.
"I can't do it"
"Do what?"
"Marry him. I cant" as much as it was music to my ears, I had to show her I had changed, some what.
"Why not, you seemed so sure to me"
"Really? I would've at least expected you to try and talk me out of it!"
"Khi that was your choice. I mean, let's not pretend I wasn't made a fool of the other night. You had a voice then and you said nothing"
"Dont play the victim here, Torrence" I licked my lips, grabbing her hand, I lead her to the couch. I had talked enough with Janae about Khiry, and according to her, Khiry just needed someone to listen to her.
"Tell me what happened" Khiry looked at me, first in confusion. "You could've went to a million different places, you came here for a reason. Tell me what's up"
"It's like I tried so hard with you, and it wasn't enough. You cheated on me with a trifling stripper, I mean....what did she have that I didn't? A STD?"
"It wasn't even like that, I was on some stupid ego shit."
"It had to be something, you dont just go out and fuck someone cause you feel like it"
"Not in a woman's mind"
"You have feelings for her?" she asked.
"Hell no, it was a one time thing"
"Bullshit. So your telling me you have no feelings for her at all?"
"She's a stripper, why would I have feelings for her?"
"You fucked her. So what, you have to sleep with some one before you gain feelings for them Torrence? Is that how we worked?"
"No! Khiry. Stop questioning yourself, it didn't have shit to do with you. I was fucking up cause I figured I'd always have you. I thought I could fuck a hoe and love you at the same time"
"Love? Love would have stopped you" Khiry sat there looking me dead in my eyes. I couldn't call her a liar.
"Im not gon' call you a liar. But atleast she had time for me. You were so caught up in your own shit you couldn't take a minute to chill with me"
"Do you know how many times I skipped class for you?"
"You know how many times I apologized for the times I couldn't be there? How many times I picked you up from school or work to see you with that nigga? And im falling for 'he's just a friend' shit. We break up and you engaged. Dont sit there and act like our relationship fell apart on my behave. The fuck you think I feel?"
"Torrence, he was just a friend"
"How the hell you get engaged to 'just a friend' three months after you break up with somebody you've been with for two and a half years? He had to be more than friend!"
"You know what, dont even trip Torrence, I didn't come here to be yelled at" Khiry got up and headed for the door, I got up as well.
"Oh, shit too real? You aint the victim no more, now you wanna leave?"
"You dont know what your talking about Torrence" she said as she sharply turned around.
"Yes the fuck I do! Tell me Khi, that nigga ever gave you money?" Khiry shook her head as she sucked her teeth.
"And what if he did?" she spoke, stepping up to me.
"Did he?" I asked in a calm voice.
"He could have"
"Why you play-"
"Yes Torrence he did!"
"So what you give him back? Huh?"
"What the hell are you talking about?"
"Aint no nigga givin you shit for free"
"You tryna say I fucked him for money? Oh you obviously have me confused with ole girl. But too bad for me, I actually cared about you. I gave you my fuckin heart Torrence" Khiry pushed me away, turning for the door again. I grabbed her as she continued to try to get away. I held her tight, wrapping my arms over hers.
"Im sorry" I said as she continued to fight me off, only making me hold her tighter. "Im sorry, I love you girl and that shit aint going no where. I aint tryna see you with some other nigga. I swear if you give me this last chance, you wont regret it." I turned her around, "Im tryna be with you, but I need to know what happened. How you get engaged so quick? Call me a liar but I swear you told me you weren't ready." Khiry looked away, then looked up at me.
"We went on a few dates. I mean, they weren't dates to me, but they were to him. He was like my go to guy when you were foolin around. He was always telling me how he would treat me better, and he was waiting for you to mess up. I didn't mean for it to happen...but it did. He made me feel so loved."
"What made you leave?"
"He's so controlling...and he gets so angry sometimes, he-"
"Khiry he put his hands on you?" Khiry's blank expression answered my question. I let her go as my body fumed. I placed my hands on my head, letting them slid down my face as I walked through the den. I grabbed the vase that sat on the coffee table and slammed it againt the wall.
"Torrence!" Khiry squilled as she covered herslef from any flying glass.
"Where'd he hit you?" I asked, backing her up on the wall. I searched her face & neck. "Where'd he hit you!?" I yelled.
"Torrence stop it! It doesnt matter because we're through!"
"The fuck you mean it dont matter? This nigga puttin his hands on you dont matter?"
"Torrence...I just dont want you to do anything crazy"
"It's too late for that shit. Just tell me where the nigga stay and we can end the conversation!"
"No! Torrence stop it, please!"
"I'ma find out anyway! You may as well tell me now!" Khiry shook her head as tears washed over her cheeks.
"You havn't changed at all"
"What you mean I havn't changed? What you expected me to do? Give you a fuckin band-aid and say it's alright. Nah, it'll be alright when I fuck his ass up!"
"Oh so you've changed?" Khiry said.
"Yea! Cant you tell? And why the fuck you defending his ass!?"
"Im not! If you've changed, prove it, dont worry about him." Khi placed her hands on my face. "Worry about us, worry about what's here right now. Torrence I love you too much to let you do something so stupid. Im asking you, please?"
I looked at her, I hadn't been so close to her in weeks. Her just being in the room had me ready to taste what was mines. My lips met hers almost instantly. As I pushed her body against the wall, our tongues played tag. Pulling her jacket off of her shoulders, I tossed it to the side. My hands slipped under her loose fitting silk blouse, where her full, perky breast sat up bare. I worked my way down to her neck, kissing and sucking as she moaned for me. I pulled her top off, nealing down, I wrapped my arms around her thick thighs and picked her up.
I let Khi fall onto my king sized bed, my eye's watched as her breast playfully bounced. I pulled off my shirt, tossing it to the side of me. I leaned over and gripped Khiry's pants. Agressivly, I pulled her body towards me. She only laughed as I licked my lips, darking my eyes from her breast to her eyes every few seconds. I pulled her pants down her legs as she held them up. Letting them drop to the floor, I kissed her mocha colored legs. I could see the wetness through her laced panties, and my dick print was obvious. Khiry's finger motioned for me to come down. "I missed you so much" she moaned as she kissed me hard, letting her hands work there way down to my shorts. Hard knocks rang through our ears. I looked at Khiry and pushed my self up. I looked at the clock, 1:39.
"What if it's Christian?" Khiry spoke, covering her chest.
"Lock the door & cover up"
"Torrence!" I locked the door myself and closed it before she could protest.
I eased through the den as I scanned the space. I grabbed the gun that I had laid in the black vase earlier. I looked through the peep hole to see,
Shauney? I sat the gun on the side table and looked behind me, making sure Khiry wasn't out. I stepped out, "What the hell you doing here?" I asked.
"If somebody answered their phone I wouldn't be out all hours of the night" I closed the door.
"What you want? Why you even over here?"
"Oh what? Im not good enough to even come inside? Damn Torrence we at this point?"
"You wasting my time"
"We gotta talk"
"No, we aint got shit, you need to gone on about your business and let me handle mines"
"Yours, huh? I got something that's yours" she said walking up to me. She grabbed my hand, and placed it on her stomach.
"The fuck?"
"Im pregnant" I snatched my hand away.
"Chill with that shit. All the dicks you done fucked, you aint pinning that shit on me"
"Im 4 months pregnant, you do the math!" Shauney sucked her teeth and looked away, "Look, im not tryna make you a daddy, I got a life to live too. I aint tryna be nobody's mama, I aint fit for that shit. I didn't know and now it's too late for an abortion. So im thinking about giving it up, I just wanted you to know you'd have a son somewhere out there." I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Shauney looked at me, shaking her head from my dumb founded expression. "You aint got nothing to say?" my dumb ass just stood there. Shauney nodded her head. She turned around and walked towards the hall, where the elevator was. I walked inside, and closed the door. I grabbed the black vase and threw it across the room, watching another vase shatter into pieces against the wall. My life was quickly spiralling out of control. I turned around and placed my hands on the door, supporting himself.
"Torrence?" Khiry's soft voice spoke, I turned to see her dressed in one of my shirts as she looked at the mess I had made, "Baby, what happened?"